I'm Sean Connery: A Comedy Play

by Kelly, Steven
ISBN: 9781068298233
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Overview

I'M SEAN CONNERY (A Comedy)

"The name is Bond. James Bond. Or at least it is until the meds kick in."

Welcome to Hammond House, a psychiatric ward where the only thing more dangerous than the patients' delusions is their grasp of 1980s football trivia.

I'M SEAN CONNERY is a riotous, 6-act satirical farce that blurs the line between clinical reality and cinematic fantasy. At the centre of the storm is Ivan Asticov, a patient whose mental health condition leads him to adopt a new celebrity persona every week with 100% commitment. This week, he is Sean Connery-and he's on a mission that the hospital staff can't stop.

The Mission:

From the gritty "Q-Branch" of the men's toilets-where a janitor presents a new toilet seat as a piece of aerospace technology-to a high-stakes dream sequence featuring the villainous Dr. "Blofeld" Chap'dArse and the lethal "Medicine Finger," Ivan's world is a high-octane spy thriller.

The Chaos:

The stakes reach a fever pitch when an official from the Lottery arrives with a 13 million jackpot for a "Mr. Sean Connery." Suddenly, every patient in the ward-including the fierce "Sean Connery Sisters"-claims the identity for themselves. What follows is a whirlwind of mistaken identity, Panini sticker bribes, and a legal standoff that leaves the local police quite literally with their pants down.

Why You Should Read (or Stage) This Play:

  • 6-Act Structure: A full-length theatrical tour-de-force that balances rapid-fire dialogue with physical comedy.

  • Absurdist Satire: A biting look at identity, authority, and the "Muppet of the Year" competition.

  • Unique Characters: Featuring a cast of unforgettable misfits, from the inventor of the "Arsehole Scratcher" to a Bond Girl who thinks she's Purdey from The New Avengers.

Written by Stevie Faith, this is a play where the martini is lukewarm hospital tea, the gadgets are plumbing supplies, and the ending is a punchline you won't see coming.

"Sh-mashing." - Ivan Asticov (Probably)

  • Format: Trade Paperback
  • Author: Kelly, Steven
  • ISBN: 9781068298233
  • Condition: New
  • Dimensions: 8.00 x 0.31
  • Number Of Pages: 144
  • Publication Year: 2026
Language: English