Bienvenue to the Panic Zone
A Dad's Field Guide to Montreal Apartments and Other Accidental Emergencies
By Sasha Finch, aka the Dad
CONGRATULATIONS! You have keys. You have a lease. You have absolutely no idea what you're doing.You finally moved out. Freedom! Pizza for breakfast! No curfew! But then... reality hits. The toilet starts making a sound like a dying whale at 2:00 AM. The radiator is banging like a poltergeist. There is a smell in the fridge that might be sentient. And you just realized you have no idea how to reset a breaker switch.
You could call your Dad. But let's be honest: he sleeps like a tank, he won't pick up, and if he does, he's just going to ask why you didn't write it down when he "already told you".
This is not a lecture. This is your Field Guide.
Written by a Dad who has seen it all (including the time Mom poured candle wax down the drain), this book is the manual they forgot to hand you when you signed the lease. It is specifically designed for the unique chaos of the Montreal/Northeast habitat-where the winters are brutal, the apartments are ancient, and the pests are persistent.
INSIDE, YOU WILL LEARN HOW TO:
Don't panic. Don't call a plumber yet. Read the book. Save your security deposit. Make Dad proud.